#MeantToBe Page 4

  I set aside one set of books and notes and stretched my arms and back. Then I checked the time, realizing I’d been on the clock as of twenty minutes ago. I dug around in my bag for my tutor’s badge.

  “That’s a pretty big coffee,” I heard.

  I sat up and found Brooklyn peering into my empty cup.

  “Or it was,” she added with a small smile. Her backpack hung from one shoulder, and her hair fell in long waves all around her.

  I finally remembered to say something. “Uh, yeah. I was up late last night. I needed a pick-me-up.” I grabbed the empty mug, knowing I should take it to the sink but frozen in my seat. Brooklyn turned silent too, and we stood there awkwardly for a second.

  She glanced at my books. “So…are you available?” she asked. “For tutoring, I mean.”

  Across the room, Heather caught my eye. She turned back to the table in front of her in a flash. Her mouth twitched upward at the corners.

  Great.

  I turned back at Brooklyn. “Uh, yeah. Why don’t you get set up and I’ll go put this away? I should probably stay away from the coffee pot the rest of the night.”

  “Sure,” she said with a smile, putting her backpack down. “And I agree.”

  I walked off to the break room, still pretty wired.

  Heather walked in just as I finished rinsing the gigantic mug. “You two seemed pretty cozy back there,” she said, getting some coffee herself.

  I shook my head, drying my hands. “She’s just someone I’m tutoring. And I just happened to be back there already,” I said, noticing the playful gleam in her eye. “But you knew that.”

  She giggled. “Yes, I did. I just like you making you nervous is all.”

  She walked out of the room before I could say anything else. Heather was a senior and would be graduating next semester. But I liked her. She was cool. Way cooler than Matt.

  Even if she did like to tease.

  Besides, Brooklyn had a boyfriend. A jerk of a boyfriend at that. And the last thing I needed was to make him think there was something going on.

  But it was okay because I didn’t like her like that anyway.

  As frustrating as it was, I still had feelings for Sara. Not that that was going anywhere.

  I headed back and found Brooklyn already working out problems. “Remember to bring the exponent to the front of the variable,” I said, looking over her work.

  I smiled when she began violently erasing her work. “You know you don’t have to erase everything you did, right? Just that one step?” I asked.

  She kept on erasing, though. “I know. I just—if I don’t start over and do things right from the beginning, I’ll mess up again.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  She wrote out the problem again. I noticed her eyebrows scrunched up when she concentrated, and I liked how it seemed like the world ceased to exist around her as she worked on finding the right answer.

  After a couple of minutes, she set her pencil down and slid the paper over to me. “Is that right?” she asked.

  I went through it, line by line. “Uh, yeah, here. Try another one,” I said, sliding it back.

  Clearing my throat, I reminded myself to focus on the math, not her.

  A girl with short blonde hair and glasses came up to Sara and me after American History. “Hey, do you guys want to join our study group? We thought it’d be a good idea with the text next week.”

  A tall thin guy stood with her. He had on a t-shirt that said WILL WORK FOR PIZZA.

  “Oh, uh, who else is in?” I asked, not really interested but hating to say no outright.

  The girl smiled. “We have one other person. He actually went to go ask about getting us a room at the student center.”

  “Oh, uh, sure, I guess,” I replied.

  Sara nodded. “That actually sounds like a really good idea.”

  Meanwhile, I was already wondering how I could get out of this one. I did not have time for a study group. I needed to study, not socialize, and not just for this class.

  Blonde girl hugged her books to her chest. “Yay! I think we have a good number now. We can share notes and talk through them and quiz each other,” she said as we walked. She held out her hand. “I’m Maddie, by the way. This is Austin.”

  After introductions, we left the classroom, which was practically empty by then.

  We made our way to the student center, talking about the upcoming test. Sara asked Maddie and Austin, “Hey, do you think we can talk about the Great Awakening? Because that totally went over my head.”

  Austin nodded. “Sure. That’s what the study group is for. I’m in another one for my chem class, and I went from a B on the weekly quizzes to an A.”

  “Nice,” Sara replied. “I’ve never been in a study group before, but I like it already.”

  I remained silent, hoping I could find a reasonable excuse to not join them. Sara would be more than fine on her own with them. But I preferred to study on my own, and tutoring already took up a lot of time. I had a feeling that this study group would just turn into more of that.

  Not that I wanted to be a jerk, but I needed to use any extra time I had to get my own stuff done and get some rest for once.

  We crossed the street to the student center. It was a big building full of computer labs, study rooms, tables, silent reading rooms, and plenty of comfy couches for napping. “Does this time work for you guys?” Maddie asked.

  “Yeah,” Sara answered before I could say anything.

  It sounded like I was going to the study group.

  We went inside.

  I told myself I’d go today and figure out how to drop it later.

  They’d understand. They seemed nice enough. And maybe Sara didn’t really want to do this either.

  Once we reached the elevators, I hung back a bit, and Sara noticed. “What?” she asked.

  “You don’t really want to join this group?” I whispered.

  Her eyebrows knit together. “I think it’s a great idea. Just because you’re passing with flying colors… I need all the help I can get. We’re not all born smart like you, you know,” she teased.

  I sighed. I actually wasn’t passing with flying colors. But I wasn’t about to tell her that, not when it wouldn’t help my argument. “Isn’t Brian gonna mind, though? Don’t you two spend all your time together now?” I only meant it as a joke, but it didn’t come out that way.

  She gave me a pointed look. “He’ll be perfectly fine with it, actually.”

  “Well, I’m not sure I have time to do this,” I said quietly as Maddie and Austin said hi to someone they knew. “I have to work, remember?”

  “Let’s just try it out and see how it goes. Maybe this can help our grades in history,” Sara said. “Deal?” she asked. When I didn’t say anything, she said, “Adam…”

  I sighed. “Fine. Just today.”

  It wasn’t long before we all sat around a table in one of the private study rooms. It was small with clear glass along one wall and dry erase boards along the others.

  Maddie and Austin’s friend was already there. His name was Nate. “I signed us up for an hour. Do you think that’s enough?”

  “Oh yeah, that should be enough,” Austin replied.

  I may or may not have breathed a sigh of relief.

  “This is so exciting,” Maddie said, getting out index cards and a dry erase marker to use on the board hanging from the wall.

  I took out my notes, checking the time on my phone while I was at it.

  “Whoa, there,” Nate said, grabbing the marker out of her hand. “Let’s just start by going over the notes that are gonna be covered on the test.”

  Sara gave me a small smile from across the table.

  At the forty-five minute mark, I began getting a bit antsy, but I was also surprised by how much I ended up liking Maddie, Austin, and Nate. And how much studying we got done. The guys were pretty cool, although Maddie could be kind of intense.

  Nate stood up. “Well, I ha
ve to get to class, but this was great. Thanks, guys.”

  “Me too,” I said quickly, also standing up.

  Maddie began erasing the whiteboard. “So next week again? After class?” Maddie asked. “Unless you guys think we should do twice a week?”

  The rest of us looked at each other.

  Thankfully, Nate stepped right in. “Maybe during finals, Maddie. For now, once a week should be good.”

  I liked him. He knew how to handle her….enthusiasm.

  If I had to guess, I’d say she carried at least five different colors of highlighter in her bag at all times. She’d gotten out three just today.

  Sara grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. “Well, this was fun. Thanks so much, guys. I’m starting to feel a lot better about the test.”

  “Yeah, me too,” I said, feeling guilty for my earlier thoughts. “I’m glad you invited us, Maddie.”

  She smiled from ear to ear.

  As we walked out, Nate turned around and asked, “Hey, do you guys play volleyball by chance?”

  Volleyball?

  Austin joined in. “We could use a few more people on our intramural team. It's co-ed. We grab food after. I think you guys would like it.”

  Sara didn’t look as excited about this as the study group. “Um, I don't really do sports, but I'm sure Adam could join.”

  I gave her a look like WHAT.

  “Yeah, me neither,” Maddie said to Sara, and they began their own side conversation about it.

  But Sara gave me a wink.

  I give her my “really?” look.

  I turned back to the guys. “I don't know. I actually have a lot going on.”

  “Oh, well, maybe you can think about it?” Nate tried. “It's on Saturday afternoons, and we still need a couple more people to complete the team. Like I said, it's a lot of fun.”

  “Lots of girls,” Austin said, wagging his brows.

  Maddie went over and elbowed him in the ribs pretty hard.

  “Ow!” he yelled, clutching his side and obviously wondering what had just happened.

  Maddie gave him a death stare and then glanced at me and Sara and back at Austin.

  Oh.

  Ohhh.

  “Oh no. We're not—” Sara began, pointing at me and then herself. “Adam isn't my boyfriend. Just my friend. I mean, I have a boyfriend. It's just not him.”

  Nice.

  Ouch.

  Meanwhile I nodded, avoided everyone’s gaze, and tried to keep my face expressionless.

  “Oh,” Maddie and Austin said together.

  “Sorry,” Maddie said to Austin with an apologetic grimace.

  “So is that a yes, then?” Nate chimed in. “Maybe I can text you on Saturday, and you can see if you can make it?”

  “Can you tell he's a business major?” Maddie said with a laugh. “Always knows how to ask for the sale.”

  After I finally gave Nate a yes, Sara and I made it back to the elevator.

  Sara turned to me. “I really do hope you’ll think about the volleyball team. It sounds like fun.”

  I replied, “So why don’t you do it, then?”

  She smiled. “You know sports and me don’t get along. And I think you could use something fun in your life. But I promise I’ll come and see you play.”

  She’d changed some since she and Brian had gotten together. But even more so since we started college. She definitely wasn’t like this in high school. I’d always been the one begging her to hang out with me.

  Anywhere to get away from home.

  But now she definitely got out of her shell more than me.

  I wasn’t sure what I thought about that. I missed the old Sara. Or maybe it was high school that I missed.

  Before Brian came along.

  Maybe that was it.

  We got out of the elevator on the first floor. “It’s just that I have a lot going on, I guess,” I said with a yawn.

  “Are you getting enough sleep?” she asked as we walked outside.

  The campus was pretty empty. Classes weren’t over for another few minutes.

  “Not really, not with work,” I replied.

  She stopped, and so did I. “Maybe you should quit.”

  I scoffed. “I wish.”

  “I thought you’d gotten scholarships?” she asked.

  I exhaled. “From the state, yeah, for tuition. But I still need to cover everything else. Like books and the meal plan. And gas and insurance.”

  “What about your parents?” she tried.

  I shook my head. “My mom’s struggling as much as it is on her own and Dad has Wes to think about too. He graduates next year.”

  She gave me a half hug of sorts.

  I smiled at her. “It’s all good. I think I’ll get the hang of everything soon.”

  “Well, don’t get carried away with just work and school. You need to remember to get out and meet new people,” she said.

  We finally came to the bus stop.

  She stared at the trickle of students walking to and fro. “I really like this place. Most people aren’t jerks or idiots like back at our old school,” she said.

  “I’m not going to any more parties,” I said, not caring how grumpy I sounded.

  “No, but the volleyball thing sounds fun,” she quipped.

  “Intramural volleyball?” I said. “Really?”

  She winked. “It’s co-ed. Maybe you’ll meet someone. And there’s Maddie. She was nice. And very pretty.”

  I blinked at her. “She's not my type, and you know it.”

  The bus stopped in front of us.

  “True,” she said as we got on.

  Eight

  I came to a dead stop, my eyes on Ethan scrolling through the messages on my phone.

  He finally noticed me standing a few feet away and looked up. “Who’s Cory?” he demanded, my phone still in his hand.

  Obviously, the look of shock on my face hadn’t fazed him.

  I couldn’t believe this. “Why are you on my phone?”

  But it was like he hadn’t heard me. Or didn’t care. “Answer the question, Brooklyn. Who the hell is he?” He stood up.

  I remained silent, clenching my teeth.

  I did not owe him an explanation. Not for this. And not when he was like this.

  Now I couldn’t go to the bathroom for five minutes without more drama ensuing?

  “When did you start going through my phone?” I asked quietly.

  Now I wondered if this wasn't the first time. Oh god. I couldn’t deal.

  “Why?” he replied. “Got something to hide?”

  He waited for me to answer, but instead, I walked over to him, grabbed my phone from his hand, and left the room. I sat at his kitchen table and looked at the messages.

  It was Cory from lit class. There was a new message from him. We were critiquing each other’s essay due next week, and he wanted to know when we could meet up again. I texted him back that I’d let him know soon.

  Ethan came over. “Who is that?” he asked, voice still full of anger.

  “Someone from class,” I replied finally, setting my phone screen down. I looked up at him. “Do you really think I would cheat on you or something? God, Ethan.”

  I got up just so I could get away from him, making my way over to the couch. I pulled up my knees to my chest and covered myself with the blanket we’d been cuddling under just ten minutes ago.

  I stared at the TV across the room, not really watching the movie I was no longer interested in.

  Not wanting to cry again, I went back to clenching my jaw and also crossed my arms and looked anywhere but at him so he’d get the message that I did not want to keep talking about this.

  He sat on the opposite end of the couch, also not looking at me. “I don’t get how you don’t want me to get upset when guys text you all the time,” he muttered, also staring at the TV.

  I shook my head and sighed. “Guys don’t text me all the time. And who cares, anyway? They’re just p
eople in my class.”

  “So you wouldn’t care if girls text me all the time? Is that what you’re saying?” he retorted.

  I looked at him and then away. I clenched my jaw harder before I finally managed to say something. “I trust you. Why should I care who texts you? I’m not about to look over your shoulder every time someone messages you. Any time you feel like you’d rather be with someone else, you can just tell me. You don’t have to hide it.”

  He stood back up. “It doesn’t sound like you care too much about being with me either way.”

  I wanted to scream.

  I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and demand the old Ethan come back to me right now.

  The thought of that really made me want to break down and start sobbing, but I couldn’t. Not there.

  “Maybe you should just take me home,” I told him. I hated that my chin trembled as I spoke, as if I might completely come apart any second.

  Ethan stood up and stepped toward me until he was right in front of me, just staring. I refused to look at him, looking anywhere else instead.

  When he didn’t say anything, I got up and grabbed my stuff.

  I thought maybe we could have a nice time tonight, but that wasn’t happening. Not anymore.

  I slipped my jacket on and got my bag.

  Then I waited for him to grab his keys, something.

  “Do you not feel the same way about me anymore?” he asked, taking a seat on the couch.

  I sighed. “I’m just tired of this. Of us fighting all the time, Ethan.”

  Why didn’t he get it? I just wanted us to spend time together without arguments for once. But there was always something that made him upset.

  He exhaled slowly. “Do you know how stressful my life is right now? And now this?”

  I bit the inside of my lip. “Can you please take me home?” I asked, not daring to look at him.

  He finally turned to look at me. I looked at him too.

  “Maybe we should…” I started to say, but I couldn’t. Not without crying.

  “What?” he said. “Break up?”

  I was going to say take a break from each other for a little while.

  “Are you done with me?” he went on. “Just like that? After everything I’ve done for you?”

  The yelling had me cringing. “I’m just so tired of this. Maybe—”